Happy New Year!

2019 was quite an eventful year, to say the least, for me. I can't really say that I'm all that sad to see a new year and the end of what has been a sad time in my life, but what I can say is that I am so excited to see what 2020 has in store.

As you all will know, I lost my cat Nala last year. If you haven't heard, then you can read my post about losing Nala in August from mammary gland cancer. Shortly after Nala died, her twin brother, Simba started behaving differently than normal. We put it down to grief, but we soon noticed a small, firm lump on his neck. There lied the beginning of the same journey that we had just endured with Nala.

After speaking with simbas vet and having tests done, our worst fears were confirmed. Simba had cancer and there was no treatment as removing the lump would cause it to spread. We were told to expect he would survive a month maximum.

Simba deteriorated over time. His lump was pressing against his throat which made it hard to swallow food, so we ordered cat 'soup' which was filled with all the nutrients he needed to stop him from starving to death. We slept next to him day in and day out, lifting him if he ever needed to jump. His favourite place to sleep was the back of the sofa, but as he drifted to sleep he would fall off and stun himself. We boxed the sofa against the wall and placed cushions everywhere so that he could still sleep there without hurting himself.

When simba was first diagnosed, we started giving him CBD oil (just one drop daily) and whilst he didn't like it, simba lived a further 4 months rather than the 1 month maximum we were initially given. Simba was never in pain, which is why we were fortunate enough to not have to make the decision to have him put down.

After quite literally nursing him in our arms 24 hours a day, simba lost his fight at 8.40am on New Years Day.

I don't think i've ever cried so much as I did in 2019. It was truly heartbreaking for us to lose both Nala & Simba and our only comfort is knowing that they are at least reunited now. The two cats have always cuddled into each other day in and out. They were so close that I am absolutely certain that they both were meant to be together in life and in death.

Aside from that, being an 'influencer' in 2019 was far from easy. I wish the industry could still be at the same stage it was when I first started. It was more innocent then, the world was less cynical of us and we were less cynical of the world. It's been a hard ass journey.

Throughout it all, I've remained incredibly blessed to have my boyfriend Chris to keep me smiling when in reality all I wanted to do was cry. He truly is amazing.

I have no idea what 2020 holds for me, but I hope it's kinder to me than last year.

HS x